We Got an F’n F???

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The State of Maine recently announced the “grade” of the public school in our town. The one our little is about to enroll in for Kindergarten. And yep, we got an F.

That clearly stands for “Frightening Fuckery, Fucking Families For Forecasted Future.”

That right there was a bitchin’ alliteration. Which I suspect that my son will at no time in the future be able to identify.

Awesome.

Education pisses me off. Or more accurately, the attitude toward education pisses me off. On the Federal level. On the Sate level. Aaand, for the full trifecta, on the individual level, too.

Seriously – What are we thinking??

We run around with our big heads, and our big guns, and our big credit card debt for the big TV, railing about how great ‘Murica is. And we suck. And we are only going to get suckier.

Because we spend money like remedial math students on the stupidest of things and don’t put money where it belongs. Why?

Well, because we are remedial math students.

For current standings, we have 30 some countries that outperform us. We should get better. Try harder. And we are. Sort of.

But who has more rapidly improving math students than we have? Latvia. Lithuania. And 20 some-odd other countries.

Sure, those studies are aimed at school kids. But those school kids become college kids who can’t grasp the full impact of student loan debt. Then they will graduate to being adults that still suck at math. And they will run our nation.

At the State and Federal levels it’s all bicker, bicker, bicker, test, test, test.

You pay. No, you pay. Contingency grants, funding matches.

Can we please just admit that an educated nation is to the benefit of the nation?

Make it federal, pay for it, and don’t skimp.

But the taxes!!!

Shut up. Just shut up. If you ever drive on public roads, get mail, drink public water, don’t cart your human waste ’round back in a chamber pot , fly anywhere, have Big Bird babysit your kids via your HDTV, cross rivers without swimming, or ever see a doctor, just shut up.

You don’t get those things if you don’t pay taxes.

If you live off grid in a hand-hewn house, foraging for food, burying your waste and concocting herbal remedies, you may continue.

What’s that? Oh, it was only the crickets, enjoying the silence because nobody does that.

And stop with the testing already. Obviously, that method is failing. We have been testing for years, and we still suck. And those tests somehow allow kids to get all the way to graduation without being able to read.

How about we aim, instead, to teach children to love learning, to explore, to experience an intrinsic drive to know more. They are all brilliant, but when measured against the same stick, will never turn into their own, personal genius.

That he really said this is in dispute. I don't care if it was a quote from the Easter Bunny, it still applies.

Whether he really said this is in dispute.But  I don’t care if it was a quote from the Easter Bunny, it still applies.

And to you, the individual. The one that doesn’t have kids and thinks it is obscene that you have to pay for the education of others’ spawn.

You are just a short-sighted idiot.

First, re-read the paragraph about six back.

Know what a paragraph is? That is likely because some poor jackass with no kids paid for you to go to school a while back.

Don’t know what a paragraph is? Start the whole article over to learn why.

But please, take a moment to do what we all do best. Think about yourself. What is to your benefit?

First, a good accountant to help you avoid paying more taxes than you should. And where do good accountants start?

In the cabbage patch of basic math skills provided by your public schools.

You also may need an awesome attorney, too. They begin with excellent reading comprehension skills. One must read volumes, closely, to find obscure references and loopholes. So they, too, begin in the public schools.

And your surgeon! God knows, we need to extend our greedy little lives as long as possible. You better hope we continue to teach biology in public schools so that ER doc can identify the need for the triple bypass.

Which you might have earned by stuffing your face with Big Macs. Isn’t it irritating when those clerks can’t give you the correct change for a ten?

You want to be healthy, financially comfortable and long-lived to enjoy that house you live in. The one build by that grubby group in hardhats who need fantastic geometry and spatial skills.

If you honestly still don’t see how it is to your benefit to have an educated community, I feel kind of bad for you. Delusional Disorders suck. I wish you luck getting the help you need.

 

Aaand Now I’m A Criminal?

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That was my breaking news this morning. I am a criminal. But it was totally an accident.

A little background to this revelation:

In February, my bank account was compromised, a hefty sum was withdrawn by not one, but two different organizations. Because one is never enough.

Those withdrawals caused a shit ton of checks to bounce. Each with a 30.00 price tag at my bank, and additional fees ranging between 20.00 and 40.00 at the receiving banks.

The super nice guy at my bank went to bat for me, and about a month after it happened, one of the organizations paid me back what they withdrew and the fees imposed by my bank for their portion of the fun.

One of them issued a refund for the withdrawal, but stuck me for the bank fees (Thanks LogMeIn!).

But by then I had missed a mortgage payment, withdrawn my son from school and eaten PB&J for weeks. The damage to our finances in the end exceeded two week pay.

I have been paying people back, making arrangements and generally been insane in the face of anything with a price tag ever since (Yes, I have yelled at my husband for buying my son a candy bar during this period).

My husband’s boss was priority number one. Seven checks to that organization bounced bang bang bang for them. Since the last thing we could deal with was him getting fired for running checks we weren’t running, this decision was a no brainer.

One of the checks was to my fuel company. Who had, just a couple of weeks before, a check bounce because Destructor (AKA hubs) had written a check out of order that I failed to discover while balancing the checkbook. Upon receiving the notification, I immediately called and issued payment via debit card.

Stupid. Very, very stupid.

Despite expressly assuring me that they were not keeping my card on file, they did.

Then they used it without permission or notice. Two days before I had intended to pay them.

Which caused a nasty cycle of MORE bouncy checks.

I kind of freaked out a little, called the bank again and was advised to contact the fuel company and see if they would reverse the charges, and if they refused, to contact the Visa Fraud department.

I called them and *may* have freaked out a lot on the phone, for lying, for illegally keeping the numbers without permission, wanting to the name of the secure, encrypted financial software they had my data stored in (they wouldn’t tell me), for creating ANOTHER cycle of this after I had called and explained the situation in the first place.

So they reversed the charges.

BUT. Heidi? Heidi at the Fuel Company has the personality of a pit viper. She is hostile, arrogant, self-important and abrasive. And that was my opinion BEFORE all of this. But then she lied to me. And stole from me. And cost me money. So for her swift rise to the top of position of Asschampion, she became last on my list to repay. I have sitting in Bill Pay outbox 3 payments over the next 6 weeks totaling the amount of the check, plus an extra bit for the bounced check fees.

But alas, it is too late. Officer Marks called me today to inform me that they intend to press criminal charges against me. I explained the situation quickly to the officer, including their illegal use of my information and non-encrypted storage, and my payments scheduled out.

He told me that he would bring the information to them, but that he is bound to tell them that if they accept my 1/3 payment then the matter dissolves into a Civil Suit, and that typically business do not opt to accept.

Of course this is the day after we spent 300.00 on tires. Which now leaves me in the position of skipping my mortgage payment AGAIN, or, well, going to jail.

Can I get a “Fuck, yeah!”

C for Corporations Are People, Too

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Corporation

1. an association of individuals, created by law or under authority of law, having a continuous existence independent of the existences of its members, and powers and liabilities distinct from those of its members.

I am not one to hold corporations inherently evil. There is a lot to be said for the limitation of liability to foster an environment of entrepreneurship, invention and innovation.

But the concept of rights for corporations really needs to be reconsidered. For starters, there is the concept of personhood – this is the legal fiction that places the corporation on the same footing as an individual person, despite the fact that any thinking person could identify the difference.

But the concept of personhood is important, as it means that laws that protect people, protect corporations as well. Laws like the Equal Protection clause in the 14th Amendment. Don’t know what that is? This might be why you don’t, but you should go look it up.

This has already been used to facilitate rights regarding  protection from search (OSHA!), and free speech, though corporations play both sides of that coin in trying to claim that as a fictions person in general, lying (false advertisement) is part of their free speech, while trying to mute bad publicity with libel suits.

Then there is the money.

Financial liability is one of the main benefits of corporations. If the business fails, the founders and stockholders  have limitations on levels of personal responsibility.

And yet…

There is no similar structure in place for those that succeed. No point at which the corporation is deemed to be an “adult” and able to therefore be self-sufficient.

As an adult, my taxes are determined on the remedial formula of gross pay, minus a handful of tax allowances for supporting my kid. There are no subsistence allowances, I do not get to deduct my mortgage, utilities, transportation or food.

But a corporations taxes are different.

To make this is simple as possible, I paid around $5000 in taxes for 2010. Or I am paying $5000, over the next five years. Because after I compensate for our existence, I don’t have 5 grand left in any one year to drop in the collective bucket (and I believe in the collective bucket!)

And just to head off the argument, we are not talking about luxury items or frivolous spending when I say “compensate for our existence” – we have one vehicle (used), I  create a twice monthly menu program that rigidly dictates food shopping, we don’t have a playhouse in the yard, or an extensive iTunes library. We didn’t even have a cell phone until one became necessary for work.

So where do the corporations stack up against this?

From 2008-10, here are some figures from Fortune 500 companies.

Company               Profit               Tax Rate

Boeing            9.7 billion         -1.8%           (yes, that is a negative sign!)

Dupont           2.12 billion        -3.4%      (hope those -s don’t mean refunds!)

GE                  10.46 billion     -45.3%              (my favorite!)

Why are they so low? Lots of reasons.

  • Just about everything except for breathing is considered a business expense, and an expense is not taxable income.
  • Offshore subsidiaries – funds channeled through them are often exempt from taxes.
  • Accelerated depreciation, active financing exemptions and other loopholes allow corporations to claims so many dollars as not taxable, that the rates they are taxed on is absurdly low.

So a bit more perspective, in terms that make sense.

With my 5k, the government could lay out a single semester’s tuition loan for a single student.

What could be done with 15% of GE’s profits?

According to H&R Block, it costs about 138k to educate a child from k through grade 12.

So at 1,569,000,000 tax, divided by 138,000 – that’s 11369 kids, completely educated, k-12.

 

So being a corporation is awesome. But fictitious personhood does have its limits – you still can’t take the car pool lane.

Because that would be illogical.

B is for Bully

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Bullying has been in the news all over the place lately, the most recent one in my area being the suicide of a 12 year-old girl. Such a tragic, unnecessary loss of life.

Suicide is obviously the extreme end of the outcomes, but loss of confidence, truancy, depression and other unnecessary elements result from it as well.

So of course, and thankfully, schools and communities are reacting. But, as we so often do, we are nearing the point of overreacting.

We are revamping team selection methods, imposing penalties on language, creating campaigns and holding assemblies.

But in order to successfully address bullying, we need to come to a consensus as to what it is.

Obviously, any sort of physical harassment is bullying. But a fight may not be.

Sure, some fights may come as part of an escalating bullying situation, but kids fight. They have yet to learn how to properly reel in their impulse control or express their frustrations. This can easily erupt into a physical altercation.

But not all physical altercations are bullying.

Being picked on constantly is constantly is bullying – if you mock my appearance, my braces, my income bracket, my weight or anything else with any level of consistency you are likely a bully.

But being picked last consistently, isn’t. Part of school, of growing up, is learning not only book lessons, but life lessons. And in real life, you will be passed over. Repeatedly, at times. And usually, it isn’t personal – the choosing of teams, whether it be for dodgeball or for management, is about excelling, about winning. Those are coping skills that need to be developed early, and completely.

We are once again trying to paint a fine picture with a broad brush. So the picture becomes blurred and indistinct. And it becomes difficult to identify the elements that make it the whole.

Beyond the element of the bully, over which we have limited control, there is also the element of the bullied.

In dealing with the concept of bullying, we are often forced to be reactionary – this happened, so here is our response. So perhaps a focus should be made to address the other side of the equation in a manner that is proactive. NEA_Bullying_Prevention_Kit

Give your kids a safe haven. Interact with them in a way that fosters their ability to speak up, to share with you when things happen, to express feelings of frustration and fear.

Give them perspective – work with them to make them understand the implications of their words and actions. Once words are out, they cannot be recalled, and there may be consequences. And no matter what, all problems are temporary.

Teach them caution. Help them understand the far-reaching world of the web, and that what is placed there, no matter how private they think it is, it is in a public domain. The only secrets on the web are those that aren’t there.

And teach them confidence. Help them understand it is not only okay, but right to stand up for themselves, and for those weaker than them. Help them find their voice. Help them find something to excel at, to be proud of. Let them participate in martial arts or other programs that foster the concept of self-possession.

All of this matters, because no matter how many assemblies are held, no matter how many campaign posters they see, bullys will be. In school, on the playground, and later, in the workplace and nursing  homes.

Help your children be strong.

A for American History Do-Over

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Eli Whitney invented the Cotton Gin.

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue…

Rosa Parks!

That’s some 5th grade History name dropping, right there. And because of the way we teach history, by the time those 5th graders make it to college, that is about all they can do with them. They can’t identify why those names are significant, or how they fit into the grand portrait of the country.

And really, how could they? American history is taught in such a convoluted, arbitrary way it becomes meaningless fact lists.

Pop Quiz #1! Who is this? James MonroeThe answer will be at the bottom of the post.

Here is a quick 5th grade history curriculum:

  • Pre-Civil War
  • Leaders
  • Timeline Interpretation
  • Worker’s Rights
  • World War II
  • Hardships (think Depression/Dustbowl)
  • Understanding the Primary Source
  • Civil Rights

Here is one from the 4th Grade:

  • Native Americans
  • Tennessee Political Leaders
  • Early Hardships (Think isolation, man v. nature)
  • Reason for Settlement
  • American Revolution
  • Constitution
  • Slavery and Indenturtude
  • Lewis & Clark
  • John Sevier
  • Revolution
  • Trail of Tears
  • Louisiana Purchase

C’mon, really. You want a nine-year-old to be able to understand taxation, tariffs and the judicial process? Comprehensively??? I don’t mean selecting 1776 from a series of multiple choice answers, I mean understanding. Relating. Extrapolating. Making it “click.”

What do they understand? Classroom voting. The concept of leadership, teams and negotiation. And they know that if they want the reasons behind behavior or rules, they have to ask why.

Why may be the bane of a parent’s existence, but it is the most important question. If we start students with current events, then dig backwards through our history there is a frame of reference, there is a relate-able structure.

If we were to start with this president and work back through Civil Rights to Rosa Parks, then to slavery, then to colonization, there is a framework of understanding.

Pop Quiz #2 – What is the 9th Amendment?

If we start with the making of classroom rules and move out into the community, then into the state, then to the federal level of legislation, the hierarchy and magnitude of the Constitution has some personal relevance, and the concept of the Revolution becomes important.

So let’s turn it around. Let’s begin education with current culture and events, move backwards through time with comprehension.

And the pop quizzes? I’d love a comment letting me know if you got them before you read down this far.

Answer for Question 1 - 5th US President James Monroe, one of the Founding Fathers, and designer of the Monroe Doctrine, one of the most important foreign policy structures in our history.

Answer for Question 2 - “The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.”  In the culture of Civil rights, this may be one of the most important amendments, and we ignore it.

 

Screw Equality, That’s Some Freaky Sh*t

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redI’m sure you’ve seen this today – on Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites. Just in case you have been living under a rock and don’t get it, here’s a two sentence education:

The symbol stands for the support of equality. It’s everywhere today because the Supreme Court is hearing arguments about two equality cases – one regarding California’s Prop 8, the other regarding the Defense of Marriage Act.

And this post? If a full-blown rant.

For those of you who support equality, good for you. You recognize that people are people, love is love, and family is family.

For the rest of you…the ones talking about what the queers are doing to the institution of marriage, the definition of marriage, the slippery slope that will result in being able to marry a frigging dog, and the God argument…please check in to reality with the rest of us.

First  – the destruction of marriage. Are you kidding me? How many hetero couples have filed for divorce this year? How many adulterers are there out there? How many dead beat dads and break down mothers? You think the gay population getting TOGETHER is going to damage an institution that is falling apart? If anything, they will have a better understanding of how precious it is, as it was denied for so long – much the same way a man dying of thirst has a greater appreciation for water than you do right now.

And the defining of marriage argument kills me.

In a court brief, council Charles Cooper had this to say in the Prop 8 argument, “Marriage owes its existence to the undeniable biological reality that opposite-sex unions — and only such unions — can produce children.”

That’s your argument? Really? So why, then, do we not have to mandate that all married couples bear children? Why do we not force the annulment of marriages when one or both members of the union are unable to procreate? And why do we not take the children out of single family homes?

Also, Mr. Cooper – Science is quite near to making that a factually inaccurate statement…what then? It already has, if you count artificial insemination.

And the slippery slopers? You people have to be trying to sound this ridiculous. Honestly. When women were given the ability to vote, did we suddenly see people lobbying for us to count the votes of dogs? Rights are rights, and it was agreed upon at the birth of this country that they are inalienable, not something to be granted or withheld at the whim of the paranoid and reactionary. Stop being an idiot.

And that brings me to the God argument…the people who want to save their souls.

Don’t. Please, just don’t. Every person’s relationship with God, Divine Energy, Allah or whatever you want to call it, is personal. Their transgressions, if there are any, will be accounted for by the individual.

You cannot save my soul. And for you to believe that you can is the ultimate insult to God. You believe you can speak for Him? You believe you know his mind?

What hubris. What an appalling, horrifying sense of sinful, self-righteous pride.

Most of the religions that have zealots slinging hurtful words and deadly bullets come from peaceful prophets. And this violence against your fellow man is the antithesis of those holy principles.

You should be ashamed. You should ask your God for forgiveness for presuming to know his mind and striking out to hurt one of the children he so loves.

And doesn’t God love all of us? Isn’t that your point?